How to Deepen Your Relationships

Through deepened friendships and relationships, we can become expansive, let go of limitations, and feel connected to those whom we touch in this life. “The treasure of friendship is your richest possession.” —Paramhansa Yogananda.

How to Deepen Friendships:

1) Develop trust.

We must trust that if we open ourselves up and give kindness and love to another friend, that we will receive it in return.

2) Give to the world what we want to receive. 

Be the friend you want to have by treating others as you would want to be treated. If you want to have friends who are supportive, don’t gossip about you, and who are empathetic to you in times of need– then do not judge or criticize others, always be there for friends when they need you, and care for others without thinking about what you want in return.

How to Choose the Right Friends:

First, ask yourself the question, “Who are my true friends?” Who comes to mind when you think of the person you would call in times of need? Who has supported you through the hardest moments in your life? Who would you want by your side in your best moments to share in your joy?

Then, think about what it is about them that makes this person your true friend? What are those qualities? What have they done that makes them special to you?

“True friendship consists in being mutually useful in offering one’s friend good cheer in distress, sympathy in sorrow, advice in trouble, and material help in times of real need.”Paramhansa Yogananda

We have the gift of choice. When it comes to our friends this is also true.

Develop more deeply relationships with those friends in our life who we think of when we are asked who are our true friends. Who is that we can have a real and meaningful relationship with? Who helps us to move forward in a positive way, and who holds us back in a negative way? Let us treasure more deeply those with whom we have true friendships, and give our energy more to deepening these connections.

Change the Energy of Your Friendships:

By changing the energy you put into your friendships, you will begin to attract a new energy in return. We live in a world based on physical laws– that like attracts like (because being physical beings we also live by these universal laws– even though it is still funny to think about for many people).  So if you become a more joyful, trusting, and loving friend– you will soon find yourself surrounded by friends who reflect the qualities you have become. (The same laws apply to your romantic relationships.)

Embrace the qualities you hope to find around you, and become them.

To prepare for these changes, practice writing down the qualities in which you look for in your friendships, and then see what qualities you need to begin to cultivate in yourself.  (Ideas for qualities: compassionate, loving, kind, generous, selfless, graceful, accepting, caring, supportive, honest, loyal, expansive, inspirational, motivational, understanding, forgiving…)

Then ask yourself what are the things that will help you to develop these qualities?

The things that helped me included practicing yoga and meditation (lots of research has been done showing the positive effects on personality that these practices have), reading spiritual books, getting enough sleep and eating more healthily, and talking with mentors who had the qualities I was searching for already within themselves.

I think that it is important to realize that changes do not quickly– you must be patient, but making the effort to be more positive and optimistic about what you can do to deepen your relationships will help to move your energy in the right direction.

And remember that finding true friendship is a blessing. So be open to receiving this beautiful gift.

Further Reading:


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